Looking to fill recently vacated position.

Applicants must be affable,
Confused,
And easily amused.
All races and creeds welcome,
There is no weight limit,
But please provide the following measurements:
The thickness of your skin,
The tenacity of your will,
Your immunity to harm,
and
Your capacity to kill-
For there are enemies both internal and abroad
Who would jeapordize the very fabric of
This institution, casting doubt on the
Propriety of having a fan club at all.

This is a full time position
with benefits. Immediate
openings. Apply within.