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So you've got N E W S.
Well, these things happen:
People change, but as the man said
To the rat- people is people;
Water isn't wine but it can save your life.
Nature's wonder drug: clear, pure and honest;
Three glasses a day to keep your balance
Six to clear your skin.
Yes, these things happen, and stranger things, too:
Abductions,
Ghosts,
Summer camps with Llamas-
So in the grand scheme your News is just news.
But in the more important taxonomy,
The categorization that really matters-
Friends, strangers, family-
There people will always listen,
Listen, at least,
And you needn't worry about being cast out.
But these things do happen,
So if perchance you find yourself on the fringe,
Look for me there:
I'll be the one with the Aquafina.